The essay about my carer’s life “ Garden “

※Mr. Fukui, who is a member of AAJ and chose to move alone to take care of his mother, summarized his daily life as a caregiver in an essay and applied to us, so we would like to introduce it to you all.  We,” The Japan Dementia International Exchange Platform”, accept a wide range of manuscripts . Please also send us your manuscripts about your caregiving experiences.

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「Mom’s Garden」

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When I returned to our house in the morning after my part-time working from 7:30 to 11:30, I could see the back of someone working in the yard. Mr. Y had come to work today to prune the garden. The sound of pruning shears echoed pleasantly from the top of the ladder. Mr. Y has long been a person in charge from the Human Resource Center for the elderly, but since last year, he has been taking on our work as an independent contractor. The garden of our Japanese-style house, built half a century ago, is quite large. Large garden stones, which were brought from the foot of Mt.Aso, are arranged around a pond about 7 to 8 meters wide and 2 meters deep, around which plum trees, pine trees, maple trees, camellias, etc. are planted in good balance (probably) . On the left edge of the pond, a stone lantern and traces of a shishiodoshi device(decorative bamboo irrigation pumps) remain. The right side is divided by an eye-height aluminum hedge in the style of a bamboo enclosure, and a door leads to the front of the house.

　a stone lantern(a material photo)

The garden is naturally designed to be enjoyed from the porch. While my father lived, he would have enjoyed drinking beer and eating green soybeans with wind chimes in his ears and green in his eyes while lying on a wicker chair at dusk in the summer, but I have absolutely no taste for such things, and the pond has no water, and the garden is covered with weeds. The plants there have become as old as the residents, and the maple trees are finally dying, so we decided that we would like Mr. Y to cut them down. In the old days, not a few people used to come in and go out, and I am sure there were guests who admired the garden even if only half flatteringly, but now the only people who ring our intercom are day care facility workers or delivery drivers. Therefore, Mr. Y is an important person for Mom’s garden, as he has long protected the last line of defense that keeps the garden looking as presentable as possible. Mr. Y also think we are important, and he sometimes brings his daikon radishes and fried potatoes from his own garden as souvenirs, saying that he has been taken good care from my Mom for a long time. One of Mr. Y’s pictures was also left in Mom’s photo album. The date printed in the corner of the print is May 2013. He is wearing work clothes and relaxing on the porch with his colleagues from the Human Resources Center for the elderly, sipping tea happily, perhaps taking a break from pruning. The reason why Mom is not in the photo is probably because she was the one who took the shutter.

When my father who passed away 30 years ago was still actively working, it was already 50 years ago, on the first three days of the New Year it was customary to hold a New Year’s party at our house from noon with his company colleagues. Looking back on it now, I think it was an unbelievably reckless thing to do to my mother. After the New Year’s day, many guests would arrive at our house, one after another, and it was a big party. She was the one who did the house cleaning, garden maintenance, cooking the Osechi ryouri(Japanese traditional dishes for the NewYear), Japanese sake preparation, flower arrangement, hanging scrolls, and tableware cleanup▼〇✖◆…. My father is the one who makes her do such things, but she is also the one who takes care of them, and thanks to her hard work, she has become a “Omotenashi(hospitality) expert” as Ms.Christel Takigawa, the 2020 Olympic bidder, had said. Although Mom has long since retired, she does occasionally show glimpses of the expert. Once a year, on the anniversary of my father’s death, when the priest of the temple visits us, she switches into full hospitality mode. She is completely turned on to the entertainment mode, ignoring the priest’s chanting in front of the Buddha, and loudly asking, “Where’s the tea leaves? Where are the sweets? Where are the alms?”  She is in a state of high tension going here and there. It’s like “◯◯ no mimi ni nenbutsu (preaching to the deaf; chanting the nembutsu into ◯◯〈a horse’s ear〉)”…. So today was the day I arranged to have Mr.Y prune the garden while she was away, on the day of her day care.

But, however, Mom was at home. I could see over the hedge that she was sitting on a chair on the porch, dozing off. Was something wrong? When I asked Mr. Y on the ladder, he told me that around 9:00 a.m., a person from a day care center arrived and entered the house, but after a while, he left alone. Mr.Y then said something like this. “Your mother looks doing well. She just gave me some tea…”

I entered the house. From the hallway, I could see through the guest room that there were four cushions lined up on the porch in the sunlight. I ask the day care center on the phone in the dining and kitchen room why my mother is at our house.

He said, “Oh, I am so sorry. I went to pick her up as usual, but Fukui-san, you know, she insisted on not going to the day service today because the gardener was coming, and I tried to persuade her a lot, but it was no use. This is the first time this has happened.”

Hmmm, I see….

I looked over and saw that there was a teacup lying face down in the draining basket by the sink. I wondered where she had taken it out from, but it was a round, clear, dark indigo color that she did not usually use, and “Koransha(Japanese luxury ceramics brand)” was written on the bottom.

The same indigo-colored teacup was also in the hands of the smiling people in the old photo…

Written by Fukui
Translated by Yuko MAKINO, Masako Amemiya